Hit By Car - Elefino

When I was 20 I made a decision to walk across the country, I would prepare for 2 years and go no matter what. I wrote all these songs and taught myself the guitar out of boredom until about 6 months till deadline I had a panic attack, realizing my big walk could be my death, I put together this album to be my legacy. I figured if I lived I would just keep writing music. I did not end up going on the walk, it was a pretty suicidal impulse but I put together CRNDLSM (50 songs on 5 albums) over the next 10 years to cope with the downward spiral. Each album gets progressively crazier and crazier.

This is the first song I ever wrote, it’s called Charlie.

Please enjoy!

Oh Charlie,
you’re getting too old.
Someone oughtta put you down.
Go down Charlie,
I know it must be hard.

It hurts you to walk,
your paws are always sore,
and you can’t stand on your own anymore.
I stick my fingers down your throat
to make you swallow all of your pills,
and bathe you daily cause you sleep in your own filth.
I wake up everyday
to feed your stubborn face.
You’re always rude and never eat your food.
You know I hate you.

There’s no reason to fear the dark,
no reason to bite or bark,
if you just give up that spark you’ll play in heaven’s park.
Go down Charlie,
I know it must be hard.

Where did you go?
I miss you in my life.
It wasn’t til you left for me to realize:
I was your only family,
I was your only friend.
It was just you and me in the end.

Oh Charlie,
I’m sorry.

I tell people this song took the longest to write, 10 freaking years. I needed the song for the project because of the guitar part, the title, the narrator, and the composition. I knew it was garbage though but after a few very thoughtful critiques I edited the words and posted a video of the edit and someone else thought it was good enough to share on their own page so It was good enough for me. So here’s the second song.

Madness my dear
The tension is heavy
I sleep in my Chevy all the time

I’m going crazy
Who keeps you company
For my infidelity all the time

You gave your goodbye
And told me to die
Now I live with my lie all the time

I’m only Vincent, but I’ve covered the cost
Much more than you’re worth
I’m getting old, another rolling stone growing mold
Should tears alone keep me warm
I’d rather be cold

Empty completely
Surrendering sweetly
To miss you sincerely all the time

This used to be the fastest acoustic guitar playing in the world, but I’ve slowed down a lot since then.

Cool kids climbing trees
Cool wind blows breeze
Green leaves turn to gold
Too high Johnny falls
Hits his head red stains brown
And everybody knows

Upstairs honeys
Slick skin licks lips wine tipsy
Fat man brings the gold
Making fast cash
Sheets stain black wife’s at home
And everybody knows
That’s the way it goes

At the races
Greyhounds pumping hungry faces
Fat man wins the gold
Three days he’s been running
Streaks down tie him down
Last chance to say, “bye dad”
And everybody knows

Cool wind faces
Blowing brass dark sunglasses
Hanging on the nose
Everybody’s turned to gold
Pinstripe uniforms
Getting high girls dancing
Putting on a show
And everybody knows
That’s the way it goes.

It’ll take a year to get 50 songs up here at this rate, does this guitar sound as drunk as I am?

Hey, can you hand me a towel? It was just a little accident. Don’t worry! It’s water; it won’t stain –
You’re right, it’s carpet. I’ll absorb it anyway…

We’re so drunk! Took off his clothes and took a dunk – They haven’t cleaned the pool, he’s gonna get the flu! God, he’s so dumb!

The guys are upstairs playing Halo – Is that the one where they shoot the aliens? I’m not sure, but I am starving. Let’s go to the kitchen and make a sandwich…

We’re so drunk! Took off her clothes and sunk in the tub – She messed herself, and we’re taking turns just checking up! (Everything all right in there?)

Life of the party just did a nasty in my front yard for my folks to see, but I’m still dizzy. I step, it gets in my toes, but with my hose, we get it clean! (Garden hose)

We’re so drunk! Took off their clothes and making love – They just met, it isn’t their bed, but hey, they’re still young!

One guy is gay another’s a *hiccup With the help of their hate, turn my lampshades to *hiccup
the whole night, only one fight… and we never kill the mu- *belch

Getting drunk a little bit
I think I need to sit
Forgetaboutit

The first time I played this in a bar the host fell out of his seat laughing. I’d have to tell people, no my mom has never had an abortion.

I am an only child
and don’t have many friends.
My folks were always busy;
I didn’t really know them.

My mother was young;
my dad was in love.
But, my brother’s dad, he was just an ass.

She was scared and ashamed,
and couldn’t tell her family,
but she got her older brother
to take care of everything.

I’m not sure how I found out.

It must have just slipped out
during a fight that I was hanging around . . .

I couldn’t tell you where she comes from
but she’s not the only one.
My mother’s first born
was an abortion.

No persecution
for committing any crimes,
just the regrets buried deep inside.

I had a brother
but I didn’t know him.
Sometimes I wonder
how it would have been.

I wrote the second half first, and my friend Nick confronted me to ask if I talked to the girl he had just went on a date with cause the words were identical. I said no then wrote the first half with him in mind. He said I was a creep and this is a sad song and Nick is a happy name. So I changed the title from Nick’s song. A few years later he died going out in a boat. It’s on the album, so I play it.

I’m just an ordinary guy;
my time here isn’t served with wine; my shoelace is always untied.
I make my living cleaning pools to pay my way through school and prove to my dad that I’m not a fool.
All this time I’ve been alone,
I wonder if she’ll pick up the phone, if she even still lives at home. I know there’s more important matters in the world than to spend my time dreaming of girls, even if her cheeks are peach, and eyes are pearl.

I gather my nerves and dial her number. I reach for the doorbell and blunder.
I gotta grow up, I’m not getting any younger.

Outside under her front porch light, I lean in to kiss her cheek goodnight.
It was only meant to be polite, but my stupid greedy fingers graze her thigh
sending a shiver up her spine. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh.
Brushing the hair out of her face, she tried her best to look away.
Her voice shook to say my name. As I neared the sidewalk’s end, she softly called to me again,
‘Goodnight,’ she said, and headed in…

On my way to work one day,
the sun is bright, and everything’s okay. I whistle past the corner store, a pretty girl calls me over,
then as I look in her eye, maybe she was being shy. She wants me to buy her smokes,
I’m wondering how old she is,
she seems sorry to say, ‘only sixteen.’

Sorry girl, it ain’t my thing,
don’t kill your lungs so young and pink.
As I turned away to leave, she tried again,
‘Oh, come on, please!’
I hope she remembers the last thing I said,
‘It sucks seeing pretty girls smoking cigarettes!’

Halfway through the first album congratulations you made it! Good ole fashioned finger picking, I don’t have time for practice so you get all the imperfections here, missed words slipped fingers in your face just like it’s live.

Mustang riders on the highway, flying,
keeping the windows cracked.
I guess you’re stressed, the way your pedals pressed,
swimming in a Marlboro stack.
Going to a party to sip Bailey’s Cream and coffee
with your posse all dressed in black.Nowhere to drop your ash in the trash, flick it in the grass,
and open another pack.
It’s not nearly as neat as you’d expect.
It sucks seeing pretty girls smoking cigarettes.There’s so many things, though, you can do instead.
It sucks seeing pretty girls smoking cigarettes.

Pencil scratch lines growing darker all the time,
circling their cheekbones and their eyes.
Wake up every morning with a mask on their mind.
The make up might, but the mirror never lies.
They can’t go an hour, always gotta light,
say they want to quit but really can’t say they’ve tried.
‘No worries,’ they say, ‘got the rest of our lives!
So what if it’s shorter, man? Everyone dies.’
I hope she remembers the last thing I said..

I thought it would be cool if people came up with their own versus to this song that I could add in on live performances. I’ve had probably 4 other versus I cut for length and other reasons.

I once had a honey who would bring me breakfast early every morning.
She was so much older, but lord knows I was so horny .
I came home one day, she said, “honey,wanna hear a funny story?”
She was married to an inmate who got out, and now he’s looking for me.

When I turned 21, my friends and I took a trip to Vegas.
A honey came up to me saying, “sonny do you wanna make it?”
I took her by the hand,escorted to my room but she was only fakin’.
She tied me up, took my money, left me there stranded, and naked.

I was at a club when a honey came up and sat down at my table.
We hit it off quite nice,flirting, though I had a tendency to ramble.
She’d laugh and kiss me on the cheek, suggesting we blow out the candles.
Then it struck me in a horror, right before me! Her little adam’s apple.

What is exactly was it to cause my confidence to shatter?
When Little Debbie saw me in the shower and broke out in laughter?
Everywhere I’d go, the girls went giggling after.
Apparently in high school, you can’t say size doesn’t matter.

I once had a honey who told me she would rather be a lesbian,
but even she was better than the drama queen, I’m sorry, ‘thespian’.
Gothic-druggy, baptist-barbie,vegan-hippy, one-legged equestrian
With this sexual frustration I’ll just give it up to some random pedestrian.

How many times have I tried to pick up chicks ?
How many times have I heard let’s just be friends?
I don’t mind waiting, in order to enjoy the experience,
but at the going rate, my fate seems friends with abstinence.

This first album was originally 15 songs I’d put together from guitar exercises I made up when I was 20 years old under the impression that I would die on a suicidal walk across the country. I cut one of the songs because it didn’t fit. It’s really too old to edit but I honestly feel like if I had died on my journey then this album would have blown up in an underground indie scene because what sort of psycho human devotes his time and energy to this sort of thing, like Christopher McCandless or confederacy of dunces author . Now it’s just a look at the world through the eyes of a suicidal but well meaning teenager. And pretty much obsolete.

Hey rabbit, you look so good,
you wanna take a ride on my motor, baby?
Taste this liquor. After two martinis,
you’ll have no idea what my motives may be.
Inside of this suit, the wolf is smiling.
It comes so easy, I’m not even trying.
We get in position, ready to go,
and I’m in control now, cause no one said ‘no’.
But then you start crying, speaking in gibberish,
spoiling the fun. I cant wait to finish.
I can’t help but laugh when I leave you at the curb,
cause I really don’t care how much you say it hurts.

Hey rabbit, you look so good,
you wanna go to dinner and a movie, maybe?
The love in your eyes, I melt in your smile,
don’t let me be alone another minute, baby.
Slide up my hand and ask me to stay.
Obscure about your past? You don’t need to fake it.
I want it to be my business, let’s close up this distance.
Give up the resistance, I’ll always be listening.
But then you start screaming, and calling me stupid,
and throwing shit at me, but I don’t know what I did.
I say that I’m sorry, but it just makes you mad.
That’s when you slammed the front door, and never came back.

Hey rabbit, you look so good,
could you give me some advice on how to manage, maybe?
I’m in debt up to my neck, beat to look a wreck,
they even came and took away my month-old baby.
So I ran away from home, tired of being alone.
I’ve been through hell and need some help regaining a shred of hope.
You say, ‘It’s not easy at first, being a victim of assault,
but through counseling or church, you gotta learn it’s not your fault.
And then you start talking, and shedding your secrets.
It allows you the freedom to get back the feelings
of faith and self-confidence, self-esteem, and health,
but you’ll find the greatest help is helping others just like yourself.’

I recorded this on a cassette tape and wrapped it in a shoe box with a letter and walk 4 miles at night to leave it under her window. Her mom got it in the morning and mailed it to her in Austin cause she was in college. She said she was scared to listen to it and locked herself alone in a closet to hear it, surprised by how nice it was. Check out those chord progressions.

Remember that time eating sushi, we couldn’t stop laughing?
Sitting outside your front window ledge, talking?
How about my favorite time, making the cardboard camera?
Do you still sleep with that little cow I got you?

Remember Blazing Saddles lasting long after midnight,
the moon had a ring around it.
I should have gone back for the extra-butter popcorn,
’cause you shouldn’t see movies without it.

I can’t wait til Christmas comes and your presence sets the mood.
I could play my drum for Jesus, let me play my guitar for you.
I hope you find comfort in all the things you do,
we wrote this song together when I played it only for you.

I can almost see you laying there, with my eyes closed,
your leg outstretched, my hand resting on your toes,
reminiscing those few good times and inside jokes
before the dark months when I hurt you the most.

It’s been many years since I wrote you that letter,
waiting to send but not sure that I’ll ever,
’cause everyday I feel too late to say anything.
I wonder if my love will ever wear out,
or if it will leave a bitter taste in my mouth,
but the choices I’ve made, I can’t complain about anything.

I can’t wait til Christmas comes and GreyGoose sets the mood,
I played my drum for Jesus when I played my guitar for you.
I hope you find comfort in all the things you do,
we wrote this song together when I played it only for you.

Maybe one day we’ll be in the same room and not notice,
but then our eyes will click and we’ll have one of those moments,
and you’ll remember back to that time that I wrote this.
You’ll remember back…

Jeez if this album wasn’t only 40 minutes I’d think it’s too long, these are painful to trudge through I do hope it gets better. Doesn’t matter! You’re getting the whole collection! I love it because the breakdown in the middle is fun to play.

I heard a little bird crying
so loud it filled the whole earth.
when it stopped, I tossed and turned,
it seemed absurd that no one else had stirred.
I saw the little bird lying
so long it rotted in the dirt.
I didn’t squirm to see the worms,
but my stomach churns imagining how it’s death occurred.
I thought a little bird trying
to make it through deserved
a quick death that didn’t hurt.
Something tells me, it’s really going to hurt.

Maybe a bird in the dirt is a really bad omen.
Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but maybe not.
Maybe an apple a day will keep me healthy for a while.
Maybe a walk in the morning would be a good start,
but for someone to tell me they love me…
that could make any pain worthwhile
cause I feel so pitiful.
There’s nothing else as strong as that
when loneliness rips me apart.
Put back together, I’m stronger than ever before
in my heart.

Now’s a good time of year to be angry at god right? That’s not what this song is about though.

Are you looking down on me,
or are you my friend wishing me well?
Am I just a ball of clay with which you can play,
watching me run around in my physical shell?
Are you trying to teach me a lesson,
sitting high in your chair while I burn in hell?
I’m down on my luck and looking for answers,
does Satan want my soul cause I’m looking to sell.
If you sent your only son here to save me,
all I got is another story to tell.
I’ve been under this spell since Lucifer fell,
is a whisper sufficient or do I need to yell?
Can you hear me in this cry for help?

I set up signs to advertise my body and mind,
waiting for the fateful day I might find a buyer.
Delayed-gratification’s a delusional ideal
in a world unconcerned with consuming desire.
When hypocrites make headlines and heathens patrol highways,
a role model’s influence always expires.
I’m exhausted from all the belligerent preaching,
but silence a singer and I’m crushed by a choir.
With politicians profiteering public opinion,
democracy is turning into an empire.
Show yourself soon and save your earth’s denizens
before the bombs drop and we all burn in fire.
Can you hear me in this cry for help?

Please god, give me faith.

They’re screaming your praises around every corner,
but all that amounts is a crowd of clowns.
They’ve written the laws for equal rights and liberty,
but power will pay, twist the words, and confound.
They’re killing for income, immoral for oil,
blinding our eyes to lifeless towns,

to make gold-plated hats for a few tiny heads,
since no one will dare wear the thorny crown.
Your children are dying and trying to hold on;
I hate the way they turn away while watching us drown.
Forgive them for they know not what they’re doing,
please wait to release your hell hounds.
Can you hear me in this cry for help?

My timings a little off, I figured each song could represent a month in the year and here’s January again with a resolution to change and take charge of my life.

On the roof of my house,
I’m browsing my past.
The tap has run dry,
and so have I.
I fear what’s ahead,
any turn for the worst
in this dim atmosphere,
waiting for the sun to appear.

To every nation,
disregard desolation,
sleep off the temptations!
I’ll sleep when it’s safe.
Too young for these worries!
Each year is the end!
Don’t let tomorrow
be my last chance to begin!

Ring in the new year!
Champagne, wine, and beer!
Pioneer the frontier!
Commandeer your career!
The streets are clear!
Music’s in my ear!
Let out a cheer
cause it’s the new year!

The dew in the glass
fills to the brim
with all of the things
last year didn’t bring.
Eyes to the sky,
I leave it all behind,
but I’m still all alone
on the room of my home.

It’s a new resolution.
I’m gonna find a solution!